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- Irish Jokes - One liners
Irish Jokes - One liners
'Excuse me,' said Mrs McCoy to the butcher. 'But there's a sausage on the floor.'
'Don't worry,' said he, 'I've got me foot on it!'
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Two ladies on a bus and one said: 'And do you know he put his hand right up my skirt.'
And the other replied: 'Not the green one with the floral pattern?'
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'I couldn't believe Dublin, great city, but every Tom, Dick and Harry is called Pat!!'
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'What's that you're taking, Mick?' asked Jim McGee. ' Tis the secret of a good night out,' replied Mick. 'It's a mixture of Benzedrine and Valium. It makes you feel frisky but if you don't click who cares!'
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Things that only the illogical Irish would say:
'You three are a right pair if ever I saw one!'
'How come every time you ring a wrong number it's never engaged?'
'Spread out in a bunch.
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'Hello, Mary, how's your new false teeth?' asked Bridget.
I'm leaving them out till I get used to them!' said Mary.
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'You see my real shoe size is four,' said Vera. 'But I'm wearing sevens coss fours hurt!'
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As Mrs McGinty entered the house she looked up to see a ceiling 15 feet high.
'Begod,' she said to husband Seamus, 'when you said you were going to knock two rooms into one I didn't think you meant upwards!!'
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'How did you get on today?' inquired the golf pro of Mick McCann.
'Well, to tell you the truth I didn't play my normal game - but then I never do!'
Submitted by Sean
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