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Redneck Definitions
Vaseline; meat tenderizer. Hair lip: someone who doesn't wipe his mouth after eating pussy. Hiccups: a country girl's brassiere. Incest: rolling your own Humiliation: coming home to find your wife screwing your best friend, and then being forced to sleep on the wet spot. Masturbation: being handmade. Hogwash: Miss Piggy's douche. Gobbledygook: turkey cum. Pimp: America's most successful meat salesman. Orgasm: something a woman should have three minutes after a man has stopped fucking. Gentleman: a man who can count a woman's pussy hairs with his teeth and not get a hard-on. Ram Rod: a goat with a hard-on. NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts. Relative Humidity: the sweat on your balls when you're fucking your sister. LXIX: sixty-nine the hard way. Toilet Paper: film for your brownie. Old Age: when you've been in bed all night with women and dawn comes, but you don't. Loser: Someone a hooker tells," Not now-I have a headache. Gay Masochist: a sucker for punishment. Cold Cream: a vaginal lubricant for necrophiles. |
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