25 Im jealous! Why cant men experience the joy of childbirth?
24 Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
23 Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!
22 Geez, youre awfully puffy looking today.
21 Got milk?
20 Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
19 Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
18 Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
17 Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
16 Sure youll get your figure back well just search 1995 where you left it.
15 Keys are on the fridge, honey. Ill see you at the hospital at half-time.
14 Sure, the doctor said youre eating for two - but he didnt mean two Orcas.
13 Honey Come show the guys your Brando impression!
12 Roseanne, what have you done with my wife?!
11 Not to imply anything, but I dont think the kid weighs forty pounds.
10 Sweetheart, whered you put that Victorias Secret catalog?
9 Whats the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out.
8 Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, thats gotta hurt.
7 Why in the *world* would I want to rub your feet?
6 Thats not a bun in the oven its the whole friggin bakery!
5 You know, now that you mention it, you *are* getting fat and unattractive.
4 Oh, this is just great! Now, on top of everything else, child support.
3 Yo, Fatass! Youre blocking the TV!
2 No, I dont know where the remote is! Have you looked under your breasts?
1 I know todays your due date, but Larry just got a 10-point buck and thats a reason to celebrate, too.
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