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Strange Thoughts About Golf
ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES BOWLING HAS OVER GOLF IS THAT YOU SELDOM LOSE A BOWLING BALL. - Don Carter YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY IN THIS GAME, JUST ASK MY EX-WIVES, BOTH OF THEM ARE SO RICH THAT NEITHER OF THEIR HUSBANDS WORK. - Lee Trevino. THE GREAT THING ABOUT STARTING GOLF IN YOUR FORTIES IS THAT YOU CAN START GOLF IN YOUR FORTIES. YOU CAN START OTHER THINGS IN YOUR FORTIES BUT GENERALLY YOUR WIFE MAKES YOU STOP THEM THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR HEAD DOWN - PLAY GOLF AND PRAY. - Lee Trevino A LITTLE GIRL WAS AT HER FIRST GOLF LESSON WHEN SHE ASKED AN INTERESTING QUESTION: "IS THE WORD SPELT P-U-T OR P-U-T-T?" SHE ASKED THE INSTRUCTOR. "P-U-T-T IS CORRECT," HE REPLIED. "PUT MEANS TO PLACE A THING WHERE YOU WANT IT. PUTT MEANS MERELY A VAIN ATTEMPT TO DO THE SAME THING." ART SAID HE WANTED TO GET MORE DISTANCE. I TOLD HIM TO HIT IT AND RUN BACKWARD. - Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum. I READ THE GREENS IN SPANISH, BUT PUTT IN ENGLISH. - Chi Chi Rodriguez THE ONLY THING IN MY BAG THAT WORKS IS THE BUG SPRAY. - Bruce Lansky GOLF IS A GAME IN WHICH THE SLOWEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE THOSE IN FRONT OF YOU, AND THE FASTEST ARE THOSE BEHIND. I'VE HAD A GOOD ROUND WHEN I DIDN'T FALL OUT OF THE CART. - Buddy Hackett RELAX? HOW CAN ANYBODY RELAX AND PLAY GOLF? YOU HAVE TO GRIP THE CLUB, DON'T YOU? - Ben Hogan MY BODY IS HERE, BUT MY MIND HAS ALREADY TEED OFF. GOLF IS WHAT YOU PLAY WHEN YOU'RE TOO OUT OF SHAPE TO PLAY SOFTBALL. I FOUND OUT THAT ALL THE IMPORTANT LESSONS OF LIFE ARE CONTAINED IN THE THREE RULES FOR ACHIEVING A PERFECT GOLF SWING: 1. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN. 2. FOLLOW THROUGH. 3. BE BORN WITH MONEY. Submitted by Gary S. |
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