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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans. . . . you call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)" . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack. . . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy. . . . your X-Wing has a still in it. . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base. . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill. . . . you use Jawas for drink holders. . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other. . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck. . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored. . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling. . . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot." . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery. . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids. . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power. . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer. . . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. . . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE. . . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?" . . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. . . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. . . . wookies are offended by your B.O. . . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. . . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. . . . you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle. . . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon. . . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder. . . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. . . . you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." . . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. . . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. . . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. . . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. . . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper. . . . you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!" Submitted by Bubba |
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