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Vol 698 - May 28, 2008 - Southern Drawl Words Translated
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - --------------------- HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED! Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055 ------------------------ Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet? Get ready to jump into something "Strange!" http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html ================================== Strange 'Questions': Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright What happens if you go on a survival course - and you don't pass? What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims? What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? ================================== Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Drawl Words Translated The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary: HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?" BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!" RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65." FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer." FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country." DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim." ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!" BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf." SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see". VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?" GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert." ================================== Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix ================================== STRANGE "V-8 POWERED" AIRPORT TUG - WITH BLOWER! - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/137839.html STRANGE JAPANESE RICE FIELD ART AND FORMATIONS - 3 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/137928.html STRANGE URINAL POSTERS - SHE'S LAUGHING AT YOU STUBBY! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/138013.html STRANGE STUDENT TEST POSTURE - CHAIR LEG SQUAT! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/138029.html STRANGE "RETRACTABLE" STAIRWAY - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/138112.html HUGE FLOATING OIL PLATFORM TRANSPORTED BY HUGE SHIP - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/138124.html AMAZING CELEBRITY WEDDING DRESSES - JACKIE KENNEDY & JFK - SEPT 1953 - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/138148.html MOTORCYCLE RACING STUNTS - FLIPS - SPARKS! - 7 - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/138189.html SHARK SMILE - HAPPY TO SEE YOU? - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/138208.html GERMAN 'LUFTWAFFE' MILITARY JETS - AMAZING PAINT JOBS! - 5 - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/138235.html ART APPRECIATION - THE 'FAT' BIG MAC HAMBURGER! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/138266.html STRANGE OLD LADY - FULL BODY TATTOO! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/138278.html STRANGE TOMBSTONES - BOOZER & STONAR! - http://www.strangepolice.com/content/item/138401.html NASTY THUNDER AND LIGHTNING STORMS - STRANGE RAINBOW! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/137676.html STRANGE NAVY MASCOT 'SALUTE' - DOG LEAVES THE SHIP - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/138464.html B-52 ABOUT TO CRASH AFTER PILOT DOES SOMETHING STUPID! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/138506.html STRANGE REDNECK "SEAFOOD" DINNER - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/138507.html FIRST TORNADO PICTURE EVER TAKEN! - 1884 - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/138510.html ================================== The Featured Pix Category This Week - Strange Products - Gimmicks - Items - Inventions http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/category/100475_1.html ================================== The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week Strange Redundant Redundancies - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/138064.html Top 15 Celebrities Who Are Actually Smart - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/138335.html Prepare Now for 2008 Beijing Olympics - Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/138550.html 10 Strangest Museums - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/132271.html 50 Greatest One-hit Wonders - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/134856.html 30 Strangest Lawsuits - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/133614.html ================================== The Featured New Category This Week - Cities - States & Regions of the USA http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/category/136_1.html ================================== Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent New Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites Travel - Cruises - Destinations - http://www.strangetravel.com/ Kids - Teens - Moms - Parents - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/ Bad Bosses - Employees - Ads - http://www.strangebusiness.com/ Cops - Police - Criminals - Felons - http://www.strangepolice.com/ Weird and Goofy People - http://www.strangepersons.com/ All Your Favorite Folks- http://www.strangecelebrities.com/ Autos - Trucks - Nasty Accidents http://www.strangevehicles.com/ Hockey - Football - Soccer http://www.strangesports.com/ Troops - Jets - Warships - Tanks http://www.strangemilitary.com/ Pets - Dogs - Cats - Wild Animals http://www.strangezoo.com/ Politicians - Parodies - Liberals - NeoCons http://www.strangepolitics.com/ Hurricanes - Lightning Tsunamis - Dangers - Crashes http://www.strangedangers.com/ ========================== ********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!) Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow! #1 Stranger --------------------- HOTEL ROOMS BOOKED AND THE LOWEST RATE! - GUARANTEED! Over 1 Million Rooms & Suites Booked - Amazing Savings http://www.reservetravel.com/v5/redir.aspx?&type=search&siteid=9055 ------------------------ Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html 
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